Whether you are merely on the fringes of the BDSM lifestyle, or it permeates the very fiber of your being and that of your partner/lover as well, there is something for everyone. New experiences and apparatuses to elicit wonderful and varied responses to heighten said experiences are just around the corner. Elation, even tears (of want and desire rather than pain or anguish, since sex should 'never' cause genuine harm) are a real chance with thoughtful, evocative sex play. Come with us, and we'll explore this winding road leading down into the depths of that sweet intoxicating blending of passion and pain.
Blindfolds and Sensation Play
For some, blindfolds are the quintessential addition to any D/s playtime. Sensory deprivation coupled with the sensory overload in other areas meshed with the complete and absolute trust needed to be willing to wear one makes this a magnificent tool. Imagine, if you will, as the shade slips over your eyes, turning your vision to blackness. Perhaps you can move, more likely though, you cannot. Your hearing becomes more acute as you pick up on every little sound. You won't know what your lover is doing until he or she does it. Your skin tingles in anticipation and at the first touch upon your flesh, be it with a knife, a hand, an ice cube, hot wax, a clothespin or whatever your imaginations can dream up, you react instantly with a sharp intake of breath. Tactile sensations become poignant and are the sole focus once you are unable to see.
Earplugs
These link very, very nicely with blindfolds. For a true sensory deprivation experience, your options are substantial. On the one hand, you can go with the cheap memory foam earplugs found in most grocery or drug stores. There are industrial variants that are similar, and then there are the hoods that some sex shops sell. Intimidating yet finely crafted, these (usually leather, though other construction options are available) hoods provide both visual and auditory deprivation. Cutting ties to other senses besides sight serves only to heighten and prolong the experience.
Restraints
From silk scarves to saran wrap to wrist/ankle cuffs or industrial strength bungee cord, when you want to immobilize your partner, there are numerous options, depending on what you want to do and how comfortable your partner is with that particular kink. Many ankle/wrist cuffs come with metal D rings attached to which you can affix your binder of choice. Ultimately, the purpose of restraint is control. Direct your partner's sensations, which in turn lead to further enjoyment for both of you. From orgasm control to the most basic lack of simply being able to touch himself or herself or you, tying your partner up like an erotic Christmas gift can be a great deal of fun. As with any aspect of this sort of fun, safety is key. You must be sure not to cut off blood circulation, and in the case of saran wrap, the body loses its ability to breathe and release heat, so you have to keep your partner cool. When you remove it, the opposite will be true, so have a robe or blanket handy.
In addition to this modest list of physical options (modest, because there are numerous options besides these which you can experiment with to find out what you like), there are scenarios and ideas, which can further heighten the pleasure and joy both parties potentially experience. From conditioning - or honing your partner to get off by doing or wearing a certain thing (even in public) to dirty talking, to roleplay, your options are as boundless as your imagination. So long as you play it safe, and make sure your partner knows that you love him or her and will do right by him or her long after the welts and transient pains of want have faded, there's no end to what you can do.
Susan M is the owner of http://www.wealthybdsmdating.com where people can be free to explore their love of the BDSM lifestyle.
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