The Psychology of Children

On the need to focus on childhood events along with the developmental theories for a comprehensive psychology of children

Child psychology is associated with the social and personal development of children and a child goes through several stages before stepping into the adult world. The psychology of children has been studied from various perspectives including issues of nature and nurture and whether the child is a product of genes and heredity or a product of society and environment as also different developmental stages of sensory discrimination and perception, emotional expression and learning through language and cognitive development, development of intelligence and the socialization process. The study of child sexuality and sexual and moral development are also very important especially from a psychoanalytic viewpoint.

Children are vulnerable and affected easily by all events in the immediate environment. Events which are only trivial or unimportant to adults, may leave deep scars or memories in a child's mind. A child's mind is extremely impressionable and changeable and before the child reaches adolescence, certain very insignificant events can have great personal significance in a child's life. So 'childhood memories' and 'childhood events' are primary factors in determining adult personality pattern. Some major factors which can affect a child's later development and have potential long term effects are:

1. Loss or gain of a friend or friends

2. Memorable physical/bodily sensations

3. Separation in the family or divorce of parents

4. Domestic abuse or violence

5. Sexual molestation or abuse

6. Learning experiences either at play or during study

7. Personal experiences/events that evoked strong emotions of fear, joy, sorrow etc.

8. Accidents or illnesses experienced or observed

9. Death of family members, neighbors or close ones

10. Change of residence or relocation

11. Emotional relationships with friends, teachers or family members

12. Personal success or failure in school

13. Influence of films, stories, books or news events

14. War, terrorism, conflicts, bomb attacks etc.

15. Natural calamities like earthquakes, flood, famine etc.

The factors here are very general and every child goes through certain very specific events that affect him or her individually although there are certain very general theories in psychology that have been established through research studies and these theories have highlighted links between success or failure in later life and childhood events. Some of the major theorists of child development are John Bowlby, Sigmund Freud, Jean Piaget, Lawrence Kohlberg and Lev Vygotsky. Whereas Bowlby emphasized on childhood relationships, Piaget focused on cognitive development of the child through various stages and Freud wrote extensively on sexual development of children. Kohlberg studied moral development of children whereas Vygotsky analyzed the socialization process of children through social contextualism. All these theories on different aspects of child development only prove the immense complexity and the varied number of factors that tend to play a role in the psychological development of children. There are many dimensions to the psychology of children from social, emotional to cognitive, sexual and moral. Here I will provide a brief account of all these different theories and finally provide a comprehensive analysis on how these theories could be used along with the general factors listed above in the study of the psychology of children.

John Bowlby, a British psychiatrist, developed the 'attachment theory' in which he emphasized the importance of a mother or primary caregiver in a child's life. He showed in his study that any infant should develop and maintain a warm and intimate relationship with the mother or mother substitute and all maternal deprivation can lead to serious mental health problems in the child later in life. Bowlby's theory is very true and a mother should develop a strong physical and emotional intimacy with the child by being physically close to the child at least until the child is 2 years old. Doctors around the world have recommended breast feeding and an important part of this is the physical closeness between the child and the mother which is extremely necessary once the child is out of the mother's womb. When the child is released from the mother's womb, the first emotion is fear and the mother's continued physical closeness instills confidence and a sense of security in the child. Orphaned children or children who are separated from their mothers at birth require a substitute or they can grow up as mentally ill or maladjusted individuals.

Freud on the other hand provided a complete psychosexual theory and emphasized on what many of us don't like to believe - the sexual pleasure of children. Freud overturned the concept of childhood innocence and suggested that we are born with our unrepressed basic instincts which are slowly tempered with social adaptation. Freud believed that the inherent pleasure seeking desires that we are born with focus on certain erogenous zones of the body and accordingly there are different stages of psychosexual development from oral and anal to phallic, latent and genital stages. In psychosexual development, the child's pleasure seeking behavior changes from the mouth as in sucking and biting to the anus through toilet training and then finally to the genitals. Thus the child according to psychoanalysis derives complete sexual pleasure by sucking, biting, playing with genitals and releasing waste by defecation. I do not necessarily endorse Freud's views on the sexual pleasure of children and the pleasure derived from bodily sensations could be explained in other ways as I will discuss in another article.

Jean Piaget, a French-Swiss philosopher established the theory of cognitive development in children and laid out four developmental stages - the sensorimotor period, the pre-operational stage, the concrete operational stage and the formal operational stage. The first stage is when the child develops spatial abilities and comes to terms with the world through the senses during the first two years of life. The second stage is about developing and using concepts when children understand meaning of things and this continues until the age of 7. From 7-11 years the child reaches higher cognitive development through concrete operational stage and can sort and classify objects and can use logic to solve problems. The formal operational stage that begins around 12 years of age helps children to understand abstract thoughts, hidden meanings etc. Kohlberg provided a theory of moral development of children through six stages of pre-conventional, conventional and post-conventional levels. These are related to concerns for punishment and self interest, as also inner need for conformity and striving for social order, as maintaining universal ethical principles. So moral development seems to move from a belief of 'what is right and what is wrong' and whether there is punishment for the wrong to what is universally ethical and acceptable social behavior. Another prominent psychologist Vygotsky highlighted the importance of socialization and interpersonal communication and child development according to this theory is seen as an internalization of social and cultural knowledge.

Of course, all these theories will have to be added up and a complete or comprehensive theory that would provide an insight into the child's mind and behavior will have components from all these theories. In addition childhood experiences and events which have been highlighted in psychoanalytic theories are also extremely important and not just from a sexual point of view. All the general factors that I have mentioned in the beginning of the essay should be considered as factors that underlie social, sexual, moral, emotional, physical and cognitive development of children. As learning experiences lead to cognitive development, personal emotional experiences lead to later emotional development and maturity. Sexual molestation, abuse or other types of bodily sensations in childhood affect later sexual development and divorce or separation in the family can affect moral development. Thus an individual who has been molested as a child may either develop a fear of sexual activity or may show complete lack of sexual restraint as an adult.

A child who has lived without a father may either become extremely irresponsible or can develop into an adult with a very strong sense of parental responsibility. Experiencing trauma in childhood through death or accidents of family members or living in times of war, natural calamities have deep impact on children and can leave a perennial sense of insecurity or a need for attachment in the children which continues through adulthood and even old age or on the other hand these events can make a child isolated, schizophrenic or simply detached in later life. For healthy life of children it is important to not just depend on psychological theories to understand how a child grows up and perceives the world, but it is also important to focus on events or experiences of the child and use these along with the theories for complete psychological understanding of children.

In contemporary child psychology the focus on events is mainly psychoanalytic and the impact of adverse events is considered especially significant. However it is important that all events, positive and negative are considered and this should then be used to complement psychological theories. To understand the child, it is important to understand the child's world and memories so an 'event-based' psychology of children should be balanced with a 'theory-based' psychology of children.

Reflections in Psychology - Part I - by Saberi Roy (2009)
http://www.lulu.com/content/5865445

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The Nature of Happiness - 20 Nature Based Things You Can Do To Improve Your Happiness

Find Your Life Purpose - according to nature's law -everything in nature has a purpose, including you. Anything that doesn't follow its purpose in nature gets destroyed. Illness, sadness, depression, failure and stress are all warning signs of being off purpose. So, find your single life purpose and tattoo it on your arm...

See Beauty - according to nature's law - there's a balance to everything and when you see that balance our mind sees beauty. Look for beauty in everything, especially people you might be angry with or critical of, but equally important, see balance and therefore beauty in you.

Do a little Healing - according to nature's law - learning teaches us to think and we think about things as either good or bad, right or wrong. Unlearning things means you think less, feel more and to really do this authentically you need to see the two sides of someone or something. Doing some healing means more feeling, less thinking - the result is turning up 110% with a good balanced heart.

Avoid resentment or frustration - according to nature's law - when we are stuck, in our own evolution the signs are simple and clear. We get angry and frustrated. Usually we say "he did this or she did that" to cause it, but that delusional and denial. When faced with anger and frustration see where you are stuck and then work through it to see how much love you can feel. Important here is not to gush with love and bubble over with expletives about how wonderful you feel. That's self indulgent. Instead, hold your tongue and feel instead of think.

Break down a Barrier - according to nature's law - all things are connected but our ego feels fantastic when we feel separated, independent, egocentric and powerful. So, to breakdown a barrier is to inspire a whole new thinking about someone or something and that causes massive doses of real happiness. Choose somebody else and ask "where am I like them?" - because in nature, nothing is missing it just changes in form and so, really, what you might be judging in someone else, you are judging in you too, just in a different form.

Change your Vibe - according to nature's law - everything vibrates. Our thoughts determine that vibration so how do we change that vibration? We change our thoughts. Which thoughts are better? Thankful thoughts are better. So the more thankful the thought the better it is. Now this doesn't mean platitudes what it does mean is to really go back and find the benefit of something that you would otherwise have thought negative. Say for example somebody cheated on you; can you see the benefit in that? This change in your thought process can really make a difference to your happiness.

See things differently - according to nature's law - everything grows at the border of chaos and order. In the ambition of most human beings order is the preference. Order means; support, pleasure, happiness, friendliness, peace, generosity, acceptance, and approval. So you can see that in the human mind there is a preference for only half of what nature determines to be the reality in which we live. If we continually aspire to defy nature we find ourselves in a battle with over 8000 diseases, untold number of humbling situations and an exhausting wrestle with inevitable. Instead simply by changing the way we see things we can boost our happiness ratio 500% in a few hours. The idea is to see that life is not half as is the ambition of the human ego, but a balance of support and challenge and that the lack of pleasure, unhappiness, unfriendliness, war, greed, rejection are all part of a dynamic played out with those things we like. If you can see the equal benefit of both support and challenge in your life your happiness ratio will escalate.

Go Bush - according to nature's law - our separation from nature is the root all human problems. Our thoughts and worries, Ego, travel with us wherever we go so there is really no escape from misguided thinking that causes unhappiness. However, if we can immerse ourselves in nature to the point where there is a dependency we find a harmony that cannot be understood through thinking. For example paddling a kayak one learns that no matter how much we think the water should be flat if nature decides to throw away our way she will and we have to deal with that. This is why I fully support competitive nature-based sports because it takes us from a dependency on our worries and thoughts to dependency on the reality of nature and the laws. Just a few minutes in nature depending on her rather than our expectations of her will increase our happiness tenfold.

Downtime - according to nature's law - everything grows at the border of chaos and order and therefore everybody experiences enlightenment when they cross - it's a moment of absolute relaxation and we can choose how often these moments happen. We all love time off but sometimes after a few days break it makes coming back to work twice as bad as it was before we left. So downtime can lead to all sorts of confusion as to what is normal and what is abnormal expectations of the day. For example; I once went to Bali retreat 7 days and spent in the luxury of a spa resort. During that time I was washed, scrubbed, pampered, fed and generally treated like a king. When I returned to my everyday Sydney city life I felt like a pauper and it made me angry that I couldn't spend the whole of my life in that beautiful spa. So instead of creating this duality of places that are magical and other places that aren't I think it's better to create a consistency of happiness in which we can create these moments of magnificence anytime we want. So downtime isn't a holiday, it's a break in a day. Given that we evolve with nature at the border of chaos and order a break comes when we actually sit on the border of chaos in order instead of fluctuating either side of. This is called stillness or in everyday language, love. To create such a moment all we need to do is resign ourselves to contentment and satisfaction that what we have is perfect. This skill gives us the ability to take downtime anytime.

Change your perspective - according to nature's law - there's order in the chaos and sometimes to see that we have to separate ourselves from things and get a bigger perspective. Sometimes when we have an argument with somebody we might walk away feeling very angry. We walk and walk getting further and further away and as we do our anger gets less. It's the same with time. We might have an argument with somebody and walk away and the longer the time between the argument and the present moment the less anger we feel. Both time and space change perspective. But walking away and waiting enormous amounts of time to heal an argument seem self-destructive as holding that anger for any length of time is unhealthy for ourselves let alone others. So to gain the perspective of time and space instantaneously the best way to deal with anger or arguments is to take time out, go sit on the moon (in your mind's eye) and look back at the situation from that perspective. In nature there is such a perspective. Looking at things through nature's eyes we need to sit on the moon because it has a very big picture of where small things fit. If you look at the world from the moon you will see trees falling and trees growing, you will see people birthing and people dying. You'll see how the world operates from a totally different perspective and what was once the cause of your unhappiness will actually flip and become the cause of great happiness. There is order in the chaos and from the moon you can see it.

Diversify - according to nature's law - diversification is the key to survival. A tree has branches, leaves, roots, bark and is impacted by night and day. So nature flexes with circumstances. But humans quite often see themselves as a fixed entity. People so often make up their minds to do things their way, one way, the right way, my way or the highway. Few things cause more unhappiness to both self and other then this single dimension perspective that humans so often think is healthy. How we operate at work needs to be different to how we operate at home but more importantly how we see ourselves needs to be bigger than just a worker, a provider, a thinker or a doer. We are a body, mind, worker, partner, thinker, spirit, provider and contributor. There are so many dimensions to being human And when we remember this wee free ourselves up to be happier because we don't beat ourselves up as much for getting it wrong occasionally.

Take Short Cuts - Save Time - according to nature's law - there is a scale of functionality from desperation to inspiration - from storm to calm and we can choose which one we operate at. If you were running in the Olympic games 100 m final would you be late for the start? Or would you be early, warm up, enjoy the space and then do the work, run the 100 m the best you can? Sometimes we get the idea that the healthiest way to work is to be rushing from meeting to meeting, running late, driving through traffic with anxiety hoping to get to our next appointment on time. As our world and the people in it evolve this manic style of self leadership needs to shift. A person who is rushing, busy, may get more done than a person who is going slow however, if the measure is placed more on the quality of the work, the creativity applied, the relationships built and the long-term benefit there will be an unquestionable benefit to going slow in order to go fast.

Expect the possible - according to nature's law - half is impossible and yet, there are a lot of hippies in the world who would say expect the impossible. But I've found it wiser to expect the possible. For example; if I want a relationship that is good I am wiser to expect support and challenge in that relationship than to expect the impossible which is support only. If my expectations are wrong I will be perpetually unhappy (depressed) because the world will not fit the model I have in my head.The perfect way to find happiness is to expect the world to function the way it functions rather than to be walking around wishing the world were different.

Get humble - according to nature's law - there are nature's laws, and we can't escape them no matter how many bombs we blow or how angry we get. There is something in this world bigger than our own opinion. Even our opinion that our opinion is right is a self-righteousness that can cause great unhappiness. There is something in this world bigger than our own opinion and often this is solved as religious beliefs. But because there is disagreement about which religious belief is right and which religious belief is wrong there must be an even higher or bigger opinion than all the religions combined. So there are various levels of humility the highest humility is to find something in this world way bigger than both our own opinion and the opinions of arguing religions. These are the universal laws.

Emulate a dog - according to nature's law - appreciation grows - depreciation shrinks so, it may sound hilarious, but one of the greatest ways to understand how to be a great human being is to copy a dog. A dog is faithful. A dog is loyal. A dog is forgiving. A dog is affectionate. I build links itself (probably not something to copy).

Deal with a fear - according to nature's law - human will and divine will are one in the same topic. But when fear comes it means they are separate... Human will has taken control of your destiny. Fear relates to fear of the future. It's really hard to fear the past. We can have guilt of the past but fear of the past is very uncommon. Fear of the future can create enormous unhappiness because it forms a barrier between what we would love to do and what we actually do. Getting over that fear might just be the leap of faith you need in order to step into a new level of happiness in your life. Mostly, we fear the unknown which is exactly what the future presents. We can minimise the risk of the future but we can't eliminate the risk of the future. Backing yourself into the future at least knowing that if everything goes pear shaped you will survive will bring an incredible sense of strength and inner happiness. This in no way suggests taking undue risk.

Simplify - according to nature's law - everything has a purpose but if we drill down to the finite little pieces of life things get too complicated to remember that bigger organising principle and so we become overwhelmed. Technology is designed to help us evolve, so technology is an organising principle. The trilogy of organise, supervise and deputise reveal the process of using technology to continually simplify life and work. Systems must replace repetitive thinking so that the human mind is left to its highest capacity and that is creativity and inspiration. The happiest person you know will work on the highest priorities. When a person works on low priority tasks life becomes complex and this sabotage is this self worth and they replace self worth with self-esteem (ego).

Manifestation - according to nature's law - Hoping that the world will give us what we want is a wonderful dream is that helps so many desperate people stay connected and part of the global machine of community, family and respect. However, the greatest human rights abuses come from this level of thinking. Hope puts our power in the hands of others and those people are not always acting in our best interest. There are real tangible steps to manifestation; purpose, vision, goals, daily habits, visualisation, words of power, speech, gratitude, infatuation, communication and action. If you break down the structure of a tree and understand how the DNA develops from the seed to the fully grown tree you will see this manifestation formula in action every time.When a human being is creating something and believes that what they dream they can create their happiness will be at a peak level.

Relationship - according to nature's law - all things are connected and therefore relationship is a critical element of human existence. However, we're very confused about this. When a person loses their spirit and begins to feel that they cannot create the happiness they deserve as an individual they often reach out to others to create a crutch or even rescue them from their own existence. That rescue takes the form of substitutes for happiness. There are four substitutes for happiness; food and substance (includes alcohol and drugs), greed (includes adrenaline addiction), sex and sexuality (includes flirting) and spirituality (includes idealism and withdrawal into sensory deprivation - meditation). The core of great relationships is built on individual happiness and once this is was taken responsibility for relationship becomes an incredible inspiration.

Honesty - according to nature's law - nothing is ever missing it just changes in form and so most of our thoughts which cause us to seek improvement, change, happiness and pleasure are based on a foundation of dishonesty. If we can stop long enough we will find that nothing is ever missing in our lives it just changed form. My favourite happiness quote is "if you don't appreciate it the way that you've got it you won't get it the way that you want it" this simply means that if we are continually striving on the basis that something is missing or something can be improved we are very often sabotaging our happiness and making the road ahead very difficult. Happiness and contentment are one in the same topic if we are looking for low maintenance high sustainability experience. Of course, the human ego-human nature - is always wanting something more. The realisation is that the achievement of one goal usually gives birth to 3 more and so we give birth to an exponential growth in desire and an exponential deterioration in happiness if we don't appreciate what we've got the way that we've got it as a foundation of our aspiration.

Chris Walker < http://www.chriswalker.com.au > is a visionary business consultant and of the world's leading facilitators of Personal/Professional Development. Author, consultant and professional speaker, his considered a leader in the field of human potential and lifestyles for success. His VIP and Mastery Programs have been attended by thousands of individuals around the world seeking tools to live life and manage their careers to their fullest potential. http://www.chriswalker.com.au

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The I Love to Eat Diet That Works Everytime

You could drug it with some obesity medication, and try to suppress it, but risk the horrible side effects like insomnia, terrible headaches or even high blood pressure. On the other hand you could really try to overcome the callings of the monster with pure willpower, by just saying no to it and to those high-kilojoules foods it usually wants, but you would probably end up feeling deprived. Then you could also try and cage it by following one of those very cruel artificial eating regiments that they call a diet. Oh, what a horrible word diet is. 

The there is the option of doing something very unusual, to some it might even sound strange, lets dot he natural thing that has been proven to work, time after time. By not even trying to defeat this monster, your appetite, lets satisfy it instead. To many of us this would sound absolutely absurd, how in the world can you lose weight and satisfy your appetite at the same time. Well, let me show you how it is possible to feed the monster and stay healthy, fit and even lose weight.

The missing ingredient in weight management is that feeling of fullness at the end of a meal, to feel satisfied and full with fewer calories. What creates that satisfied full feeling is mainly volume, the simple bulk of the food you eat. In other words, if you consume low energy density meals, that are low in kilojoules but has lots of substance, you will readily satisfy your appetite without the weight gain. 

Lets take a look at a few examples of such high-volume, low kilojoules, appetite busting foods.

Soup creates that satisfied full feeling in just about every way any food can. There are several reasons for this, first your eyes see the big portion, and then you smell the steamy aroma which generates a lot of sensory stimulation. Then the large volume of the fluid fills your stomach, and with an ingredient rich soup, it takes longer to digest, thus keeping you full and satisfied for longer.

Light versions of soups are recommended, like minestrone, potato leak, corn chowder, mushroom barley and gazpacho soup. Remember to watch out for those cream based soups as they are loaded with fat and kilojoules. Having a soup as a light meal, snack or starter will tame your appetite, keeping you full and satisfied for longer.

Anyone who drinks a glass of Vegetable juice before lunch, will intake an average of 600 kilojoules fewer with mealtime. With this juice salt content and temperature is not a factor. What works in doing this is the low energy density and modest dose of fiber content of the juice, and a bonus is that it tastes good too.

Bran flakes are a terrific source of fiber, and they give you a lot to eat for very few kilojoules, and like all high fiber foods, they tend to take the edge of your appetite monster as well. One of the easiest ways to get your daily fiber is to eat a good healthy breakfast that is high in fiber. A person who has such a breakfast takes in about 400 fewer kilojoules for breakfast and lunch combined. 

Having an appetite suppressing fruit protein smoothie for breakfast knocks out hunger because it is nutrient dense, and like al meals that balance protein, fat and carbohydrates, it helps keep your blood sugar levels steady as well. Here is a good option for a healthy delicious fruit protein breakfast smoothie. Take a scoop of protein powder, 6 bananas, a cup of strawberries (frozen or fresh), ¾ cup of water and two teaspoons of almonds. Combine all these in the mixer and enjoy.

Appealing sweet and juicy berries and other fruit may be the ultimate smartest snack of all. Along with the high water content, berries have lots of fiber, as does other fruit and they are really filling with very few kilojoules. Just picture this snack, 10 large jelly beans, 20 tiny fat free pretzel twists, and about 3 cups of fresh strawberries or any other fresh fruit. That is not enough jelly beans or pretzels to make even a dent in your appetite, but the berries or fresh fruit will do just that. 

Salsa, the fiery chemical in red chilies, the spicy stuff added to either breakfast or lunch will make you eat less afterwards. These make you cut on hunger between meals, and tend to pare down the number of kilojoules you eat at the next meal. Chilies act as a non pharmacological stimulant, which boosts the activity of the sympathetic nervous system. This makes you feel less hungry and more satisfied and full. Have some omelets with hot sauce, or top baked potatoes with fresh salsa for breakfast, a small meal or just to snack on. 

Many OF us, including myself, just cannot stop eating and are not fully satisfied until we've had that something sweet. This does not necessarily have to be a bad thing, how lucky for low fat frozen desserts that is one of the best ways to satisfy that sweet tooth without pilling on the extra kilojoules.  Seventy grams of ice cream weighs in at about 460 grams, whereas half a cup of chocolate frozen yogurt would add 480 kilojoules to you dinner. 

So have a satisfying amount of low energy density food at your meal, and then finish it off with a nice low fat frozen dessert and you are well on you way to lose that extra weight, and you are full and satisfied and the monster will not complain at all. You won't even know that he is there. 

http://www.squidoo.com/RecipesCookingandGreatHealthyFood.

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