2012年6月2日 星期六

What Are The Things To Take Note Before You Try BDSM


Once in a while, you may hear something about bondage sex. Your lover has indicated he/she is okay with the idea of introducing some kind of bondage play into your lovemaking. To spice things up, you also want to try something different. Here are the things you should consider or look out for when you try bondage sex.

There are basically 2 different types of bondage sex -

(a) Restraint

This can include spanking and whipping or just providing different types of sensational stimulation on your lover's skin and genitals. A great way to start this is to restraint your partner and experiment with the different kinds of items to touch and massage your partner. This can be feather dusters, ice cubes, warming lotion, comb, brush, fur massage mitt, vibrator, massage ball, paintbrush, leather belt, etc. Feel free to find items around your house. But make sure that whatever you use will not injure your partner. Do exercise caution.

(b) Restraint with sensory deprivation

Besides restraining the submissive party, you will include depriving him/her of one of the 5 senses. The most popular sensory deprivation device is to use a blindfold. When a person is being blindfolded, his/her sense of touch becomes heightened. If this is to be combined with a little restraint, the anticipation of where you are going to touch him/her next is enough to get your partner totally turned on. Therefore when you do touch your lover, he/she is going to be very stimulated sexually.

When You Should Take Note

(1) Only engage in bondage sex with someone you can trust

This is not to be tried in a one-night stand affair or in any short-term flings. Think about this. You are going to totally surrender your body by being restrained and maybe even blindfolded. The trust you have in the other person that he/she is not going to do anything against your wishes is very important. This is unlikely to exist with someone you do not know or with someone you have not yet discussed your expectations and boundaries.

(2) Safety

Always practice safe sex. Do not jump into any unfamiliar activities such as caning, whipping, candle wax dripping, etc. Some of the more severe acts require you to have an extensive amount of knowledge or you can severely injure your partner.

Always proceed with caution by starting with some light action, and then you can gradually increase the intensity or force of your strike. Doing this too strong too soon can only hurt your partner. Do rest after spanking to allow the sensation to get into your partner's mind and skin. Rub your lover's skin that has just been smacked with your hand or some other soft object.

Practice with your sex toy or tool before using it on your lover so that you will not accidentally hit a sensitive part of your lover's body. This is especially with whips that can easily get out of control. You and your partner can practice together. Strike him/her while fully clothed in a non-sexual setting, just to test them with the power of your striking.

Whatever tools you choose, do not strike directly on any bony part of the body (spine, collarbone, elbows, knee caps and chin), neck or head, the lower back where kidneys are located and the back of knees. Do not tie anything tightly around the neck. Make sure the nose and mouth are not been covered. When you want to tie anything on any part of the body, make sure it is not too tight as to cut off blood circulation and that it can be removed quickly. Also make sure that the restraining item will not get tighter if he/she pulls on them.

Do not leave your partner's arms or legs suspended in the air for too long because this can cause numbness due to the lack of blood circulation. When this is going to take a long time, allow some intervals when your lover can move his/her limbs to get the blood circulating. Never leave your partner alone when his/her movement is being restricted.

(3) Communication

You have to know beforehand the limits of what you can do on your partner. These limits must be respected and abided by. Most people involved in restraint sex have a safety word or words or any gesture that is being agreed upon to mean that you should stop all activity. Your partner will use these safety signals when he/she is uncomfortable to something so that you can stop what you are doing immediately.

(4) Consent

The whole point of bondage sex is for both of you to have fun and mutual enjoyment. You should not do this just to please your partner, or else you will never enjoy it. You also should not force your partner into it.




Keep these words in your mind - trust, safety, communication and consent - before engaging in any act of BDSM or light bondage. If you can keep the safety and comfort of your partner in mind when doing this, you can both have a wonderful time. Want to find out more or want to try something different in your sex life? Click on Eternal Flame.





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